Happy Holidays

Our holiday party on Christmas Eve was a hit! It had close friends and some family. We just enjoyed one another's company. 

The World Is Just Awesome

Decisions and the future

Its finals week and my brain is on overload. I'm getting closer and closer to going back to Northridge.I have an A in my math class which is amazing. I've made a decision about this summer. I'll be saving my money and shopping for a trip of a lifetime.




I'm going to Israel. With birthright!

Creepers

The people who know me best know that i attract creepers. I honestly don't do this on purpose. Guys who attach themselves to me and act like we're best friends when we met once. A creeper is someone who sits down in the library at the same table as you because its raining outside, and starts asking 20 questions. Then he acts you for your name and you give him your real one and 2 days later you have a facebook request from him. In my creative writing class our assignment was to write about a disturbed person. I wrote about what i know, creepers. I took creepers from my friend's lives, movies and my own life to create my character. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.

                                                             Obsessed                                                                   

Close your eyes: Imagine a tall and lean guy, shoulders back standing in front of you. He has a David Beckham six-pack. He could be your friend from football or your friend’s prom date. Everyone knows his name and wants to be around him. He is a jock who parties but would be willing to give you the clothes off his back. Now take this image of the boy and put him in the trashcan of your mind because he and I are nothing alike, opposites even.

My lime green rolling backpack snags my shoe as I enter the cafeteria, looking for a familiar face. Every seat is taken, but above the hum of lunchtime, I hear her.  I turn towards Erin, my crush. She is surrounded, everyone hanging onto her every word.  Christopher, a football player, nearly walks into me and yells, “Watch out dweeb,” I pick up my musty camouflage fishing hat and wipe the sweat that had built on my left brow. I finally hear my best friend Jay call me over to our small table in the back. I set my lunch down and angle myself so I can continue to stare at Erin. A stray tendril falls into her face as she reaches down for another bite, and she pushes the brown lock back up into her messy bun.  “Beautiful,” I say with a yearning sigh. Jay pokes me trying to bring me back to reality and whispers: “Austin, come on”.

I’ve never been on a date. The only time girls talk to me is if they want a good grade. Sophomore year, I had history with a bunch of Erin’s friends, and they decided I should be their partner on a class project. I figured out quickly I was going to do the research on English Royalty in the Renaissance and they were going to do the poster.  I thought that I could use the project for my advantage. I would get them a good grade, and they would give me details all about Erin. I tried to make my questions subtle but they caught on and just wanted to focus on the project and dismissed me. As they walked away from me, one day after class, I heard Erin’s best friend laugh and say “obsessive much.” For the rest of the project I acted robot-like, agreeing with every idea.

My older sister Amy repeatedly says I’m a loser, and I’m beginning to believe it. Amy doesn’t understand how I feel about Erin. As I sit at the dining room table eating dry chicken my mom insisted on making, I stroke my pet snake, Erin. I drink my Welchs Grape Juice and tell my mom that I need a ride to the mall on Saturday because I want to catch a romantic comedy with some friends. Amy rolls her eyes, because she knows while Erin is shopping for her friend birthday I am going to stalk Erin. I clean up the dishes and give Amy a glare, hoping she won’t tell my secret. I go up to my loft, covered with pictures of Erin. I used a full-length picture from our yearbook and turn it into a life size cardboard cutout.

I sit down on my bed surrounded by Erin’s images on my pillows and write

another letter I will never send. Dear Erin, I have 1000 things to say to you. Most of it is

my fondness I have for you. I want to tell you of the dreams I’ve never shared

with another soul. I want to hear your voice for the rest of my life. I want to walk with you, holding hands, jump in the leaves. I want to hear your laugh and bury my face in your neck and hair and just stay there, enjoying your fragrance. I want to be your intimate friend and strong provider. I yearn to be the precious treasure of your heart. I love to hold you in my thoughts as the trees blow and the rain falls. This morning, the sun was breaking through the clouds to the east, and I thought of you because I wanted to share it with you. Fifteen times this past weekend I wanted to share thoughts and sights and feelings with you. I have incredible passion for you that sears my brain and lights my life. I want to defend you from the horrors of this world, so your eyes only see things of beauty. Know that you are very lovely in my eyes. Beautiful. Cherished. Sensitive. Deep. Sensual. Dynamic. I love all these things about you. Yours truly, Austin.

I walk a few extra blocks from my small apartment through the streets with houses made from brick to Erin’s house everyday, but we never cross paths going to school.  My sister was on the same soccer team as Erin’s sister, so I know where she lives. During our junior year, Erin ran for Homecoming Princess and lost. She was completely devastated and I felt bad for her. I used the money I made from tutoring to order a flower basket, and Homecoming Princess shirts and banners, and had it delivered with a note that read You’re the Homecoming Princess in my eyes. Love, Your Prince.

            I spent all summer mustering up my confidence and planning the perfect way to ask Erin to prom. In school I nervously walked by her every chance I got, trying to define her facial expressions of excitement, disappointment and boredom. Three months before prom arrived, I was getting into my sister’s dirty forest green Corolla at school and something caught my eye. Across the lot, Erin’s baby blue Volkswagen Bug had balloons and paint all over it. It read: “Will you make my senior year and go to prom with me? –Christopher”. The football player who had picked on me through high school asked Erin out. I lost my chance and already bought the tickets. I waited in the car shaking with rage. As I watched Erin came out with her friends, I counted to a hundred trying to calm my nerves. Her smile, though not intended for me, still lit up my world when she saw the car. I wanted to scream so loud that my body would ache, but instead I sat in the car watching, wishing I were anywhere but here.

When prom finally came, my friends decided they didn’t want to go, so I walked in a rented black tux to the Indianapolis Hilton hotel.  As I walked through the doors I knew this was going to be a good night. I saw Erin standing perfect waiting for the grand ballroom doors to open. Her hair was done with tiny flowers in it. She was wearing a knee length light pink dress that looked as if it were custom made for her. My digital camera nearly slipped from my sweaty palms as I asked Erin if we could take a picture together. Erin smiled and said, “yes” as if not even thinking about it.  That not only made my senior prom amazing, but it made me feel invincible instead of invisible.

When graduation day arrived, all I could think about was Erin, and how I wouldn’t see her for a long time, or ever again.  All the seniors were signing yearbooks when Erin asked for Jay’s yearbook. After she wrote a short message in his, she glanced over to me and asked for mine next. In bright pink sharpie she wrote “Thanks for making me feel like the queen of the world all these years. I appreciate it. Good luck on your college adventure. –Erin”. The day after graduation I packed up all my Erin memorabilia and tossed it in the fire pit at Jay’s bonfire.  Except the picture from prom- I still sleep with that under my pillow every night and hope to find a girl as perfect as Erin in college who will share the same feelings as I do.

THE RIDDLE (my gift to you)

This is one of my favorite songs by Five for fighting. Enjoy!

Hello fall Goodbye Summer.

We went to San Francisco and rode the cable cars. Plus we saw my friend Allison!

                                                This is the view from my aunts house

  We went to Santa Cruz Pier.

Happy Autumn everyone. I've waved goodbye to summer and now am in my 4th week of school. But i never posted pictures from my summer vacation to Northern California, that i took with my friend Christy and my parents. Here are some favorites












I'm taking math and creative writing this semester, and tutoring twice a week. I love my classes and am enjoying every minute of the semester(hopefully that won't change)


Happy Friday Blog readers!

Coffee and summer go together

I've been home a lot lately. Catching up on way to many gossip shows and reruns of shows because I'm board and enjoying actually having time to relax. Everyday around 2 o'clock when I'm home i make iced coffee. I put mostly milk, a tiny bit of sugar, and some coffee. I'm addicted to making this stuff. It is really strange because every summer i drink coffee a lot and then school starts back up and i don't drink it. Drinking coffee isn't a good thing, but its my guilty pleasure for the hot summer days.





I've also been filling my days reading http://lettersillneversend.com/









Here is something somebody posted that i really loved:

"You’re Not Reading This By Accident

This is meant for you.
I wish you love.  I wish you joy.  I wish you happiness.
May you wake every morning looking forward to your day and put your head down every evening tired and satisfied.
Your life is too short to wonder what could have been.  Instead, wonder, ‘What next?’
Be kind to the people around you and love them even when they make you mad.
Tip your servers and help them to have a better day.
Be gracious to the elderly.
Spread love.
Peace"

National Friendship day

Today is National Friendship day. I just want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this, because i consider you my friend. To those friends who have been there when things got tough, i may not say it enough but i appreciate you. Thank you for making me smile when i felt like crying. Thank you for taking me on adventures to Target and the 99 cent store, i appreciate it. To those who have no idea what i am talking about, this is just a rant about friendship. To those who know exactly what i'm talking about, i hope to hear from you soon, maybe by snail mail.


I found this on someone's facebook and it describes how i feel exactly.
"A best friend is always there, whether you need advice, or a pep talk, or even a shoulder to cry on. A best friend listens with their heart and is always honest with you, even though the truth may not be what you want to hear. A best friend knows all your secrets, understands your fears shares your dreams. A best friend never stops believing in you even if you give up on yourself. you are that kind of friend to me. And no matter what happens, you always will be. You are my best friend.... my forever friend".

A reflection on Mean Girls in my life

There are always those few girls in high school that make life really hard. They have the perfect hair, and every boy in school likes them. In Mean Girls those girls were the plastics. At my high school they didn't have a name but everyone that went to Samohi knew who they were, and i'm sure they still give some people nightmares.  Not very many people know this and i still don't understand it myself but freshman year of high school I was invited to be one of the "cool" girls. In middle school i was friends with some of the girls and then in high school for about 2 weeks i started hanging out with them. Then all of the sudden life got really exhausting, because everything about me had to be perfect and i didn't feel like i was being my true self, so i dropped the "popular crowd" for my new friends in band. Then in 10th grade i was in the same class as the "popular crowd" and they were still nice to me, like nothing had changed. CSUN, a University still has those girls. They are friends with you in order to borrow money, get a better grade, or get the attention of a cute boy. I've been called one of these girls, i've even been called a plastic, and i've also befriended girls who fit the standard. Being friends with these type of girls has helped me learn about how girls are so manipulative to get what they want. I personally don't like drama, i think its better for tv and the movies and those close to me know this about me. I'm always the girl giving advice out and still trying to be mutual. I don't know exactly how to close this rant about Mean girls except by just saying this. 


To all the people who have had their feelings hurt because of a "popular girl" you should know that they are not perfect, just like everyone else. They lie because they get results by doing it. They also cause drama because they like the attention, rather its good or bad. I guess Mean Girls really does have a theme and lesson that it doesn't matter if your the high school prom queen or the band geek all that matters is your happy. 10 years from now rather we are talking about high school or college its not going to matter who had the most dates or who got dumped. 

All that is going to matter is that we have our careers and that we have a roof over our head because life is bigger then high school(or college). 

Happy birthday America!

                                       Tonight Christy, my parents and I all went to the culver city fireworks. Enjoy!

The unknown in summer 2010

Hello world,
        I'm am completely done with school, and now my mind is on Summer 2010. I haven't fallen off the face of the earth I've just been dealing with finals, which went well and I'm just waiting on my grades.  I've decided to have a new adventure at an all girls sleep away camp called Camp Hollywood land. The camp goes on field trips each week and we have camp nature names. My name is Firefly. So if you call me that, i will respond!

Today we had a camp conference at CSUN with all different camps, and it was great to be back at Northridge. Going back made me realize how much i want to be on that campus, and it is a reminder that this school year is critical in going back and making my dreams come true. Last week we had our first meeting to meet the staff and learn all about summer. The staff is already so inviting to the new comers, and I'm excited to have an amazing summer. I will be able to come home on the weekends, and I'm sure I'll be a lot of photo uploading, blogging and laundry. I'm excited about working at this camp because i have learned so much from JCA, but I'm also scared because of the unknown.

You can't bring me down!- A rant of happenings

Lately I've been feeling like the whole world is trying to bring me down. I'm doing well in school, but that's not good enough. People in my life(nobody specific) think that just because I'm taking two classes means i should get straight A's and not struggle at all. As a matter of fact, college isn't easy. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself but on the first day of class my English professor said "this is going to be a hard class, if you want an easy A, then leave now". Most professors don't say that on the first day, because its put on a happy face and talk about all the fun we're going to have, but my professor got straight to the point. I haven't done more busy work in his class since high school. We had to read tons of poems from a bunch of dead people. Now we're reading Shakespeare's Hamlet. My professor expects perfection, and hasn't received that from me because I'm not a robot. He wants us to write exactly what he says in perfect sentences. My history professor is completely laid back, he keeps pushing back our midterm essay date, when i turned mine in weeks ago, but there is still tons of reading, and its hard to keep up. I recently got a B on my history exam, the hardest exam of the semester. If i keep the good work up, i can get an A in my history class.

I just got an amazing job through Parks and Recs of Los Angeles, and while its not at JCA Shalom, and i know there will be different situations to deal with, i am really proud that i got this job all by myself, with no extra help. I went into the interview and i can't wait for an amazing summer. Some of family doesn't accept that its a new place. Its not a Jewish camp, and its not in Malibu. I'm fine with both of these facts. I learned so much at JCA. It was a great camp, and i learned about children, and myself. It made me re-confirm that i want to be a teacher, which is a amazing thing. Another plus is that I'm going to be with one of my best friends in the whole world- Christy. We're going to be there together-through the roller coaster of  life.


Adventures Await us, Ready or not.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” - Helen Keller

G*d

     I came upon a site that had an interesting question-What does G-d look like? This is what i think:


 One day a second grader, at camp asked me what G-d looked like, i looked up at the sky and said "Whatever you want 
G-d to look like. He could have any  hair, skin color. It depends on you". I gave her a piece of paper and some markers and she drew g-d for me. He had rainbow hair and wore white, she said he wore white " because we wear white on Shabbat at camp". When she was drawing she kept looking up at the sky. She said "I feel his power when i look up, he has that affect on me". This experience changed my life, because now everytime i look up at the sky, i too can feel his power.


 I thought i would share this with you. What does G-d look like to you?

I wrote this poem in the 9th grade. We were supposed to write about how we viewed the world. At the time i really liked Ashton Kutcher(before he was married)   An Angel in Disguise God Some people think there’s 1, some 2, some 5. I don’t know how man there are because I don’t have a religion to go by but I do think I know what God is like. God us a spirit God is faith God is someone you can always trust through the good times and the bad. God is everyone through the years wrapped up in one God is church’s and temples God is prying with hope. God is music God is a friend of Ashton Kutcher God is a friend to anyone God to some people is Jesus. God to others is Jewish with Jewish features. From my perspective God is both Jewish and Christian. God isn’t white or black, he is mixed black, Mexican, Asian. He’s not any race, but every country and every culture. He has every color hair in the rainbow. God is not hate but, love. God is not fear but , freedom. God works in mysterious ways, and has a plan for each person.  God is not fighting for land but, being thankful for the land you have. God is an Angel in Disguise

The big 21-I got carded

This year was my big 21st birthday. I can officially drink, but i didn't go out and get plastered on my birthday. Instead i went to English, and then studied. After Christy got out of school, and my mom was done with work we went to happy hour, at El Torito and i had my first alcoholic drink in a restaurant. The waitress carded both of us. I didn't like the drink my mom ordered. Here are some pictures from the festivities:

(I kind of liked the Margarita)

"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today". - James Dean

Amazing Rainy day-Hug a jew day

Today was an amazing day. I woke up on time to go to my 8 o'clock class, and answered some questions in class. We learned about Europe, and how people lived at the beginning of the spread of christianity. Then i went to office hours and went over my paper with my professor. My essay is comparing and contrasting women in ancient China and Rome, my professor said i am going to get an A on my paper. He gave me really good feedback about how to make it a great essay, and then i jumped on the bus to go home. The bus came right as i got to the stop, and my favorite music played on my ipod as i walked on to an almost empty bus. I got home right as the rain began to come down, and watched my favorite episode of Gilmore Girls, while drinking amazing tea. Then I did some hw and cleaned my room, and relaxed. This day was just what i needed because i have been stressed out about school and applying to camps for summer.

p.s. Its also Hug a jew day. I didn't not make this holiday up, someone on facebook did.

“Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History” –Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Join the club(The gLee club)

I've gone Glee crazy. I love the characters, the songs, the plot. Its Gleetastic. Of course they sing, to musical songs and pop songs. Tomorrow night is the Madonna tribute. Tune in, on Fox at 9.

Spring break

My spring break started last friday with me going to my family friends house in Culver City. They are really awesome(Allisons parents) and they have a Wii and the coolest dog in the world. My friend Christy and I hung out at their house and spent hours at Target.
During Spring Break I:
1. Walked a dog
2. Traveled by bus
3. Had hot coca/tea
4. Went to target
5. Tutored
6. Read
7. Played wii
8. Saw a musical
9. Cooked
10. Purchased an item


I guess i just had a regular ordinary relaxing break. 

Lexi-The coolest dog in the world

I apologize to my readers for not uploading real pictures, but i am happy to report that i got a new camera, its blue and amazing. There will be regular pictures coming soon.

Alice in Wonderland

On thursday my mom and I went out to Palm Desert to visit my Grandmother. We ran around, went shopping and all kinds of fun stuff. On saturday we finally saw Alice and Wonderland. I really liked it and would recommend it to everyone. The costumes were beautiful. 

Reunited

Today my best friends met up at the santa monica promenade. Ruth came from San Diego for her spring break and today was the last day. Ruth and I pretended we were tourists from Indianapolis and took pictures of everything, while Christy looked at us confused. When I'm with these girls I am at my best. It was just what I needed. JCRYB was united except for Yael, because she had to work :(

Its exactly a month until my 21st birthday. 

Memories are only as good as the people you make them with ♥

Things I love ♥

i haven't written in a couple of days. I didn't do Friday favorites for a few weeks. I have been busy and overwhelmed. Here is something to enjoy. All the things I love.


1. Laughing at an inside joke

2. Birthdays

3. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer

4. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

5. Chocolate milkshakes

6. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

7. Laughing at myself

8. Finding a 20-dollar bill in your coat from last winter

9.  Waking up to a beautiful day.

10. Gilmore Girls

11. Watching Sunsets

12. Hearing the rain outside my window

13. Taking tons of pictures

14. Oldies music

15. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

16. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

17. Sweet dreams

18. Weddings

19. Swinging on swings

20. Getting snail mail

21. Making chocolate chip cookies.

22. Holding hands with someone you care about.

23. Finding a penny on the floor

24. Anything chocolate.


25. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

26. G*d

27. Winning lottery money

28. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

29. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

30. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

31. Knowing that somebody misses you.

32. Jamba Juice

33. Falling in love.

34. Princess Ariel and Belle

35. Musicals

36. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

37. A good conversation.

38. Vanilla scented Candles

39. No lines at the supermarket.

40. Relaxing.

41. Tea/hot chocolate

42. A bubble bath.

43. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

44. A hot shower.

45. My friends, and all the adventures and experiences we have together. 

Heritage Square Fashion Show

For the second year in a row, my friends and I have been in a vintage fashion show. This year I dressed up in an original 1890's tea dress. My old roommate Meghan came to support me and take pictures.

Meghan and I

                                                                     Me and my Dad

Me and Brittany 

                                                                          Christy.



After the fashion show I babysat 3 little girls. We played Monopoly.

Christy turns 21!

Today Christy turned 21. After classes and work I joined her for a birthday celebration. I have known Christy since high school. She is one of my best friends.

Friday favorite #8- Nobody is perfect.

A couple of months ago a friend told me that when their first impression of me was that I was a perfectionist. For those of you who really know me, your laughing while your reading this because I'm am nothing close to perfect(You know you loling right now). So i decided to finish this rant I made my freshman year at csun. It was just something i started to get all my thoughts out, and it turned out really nice.



                                                  All the Things I Am

I trip on things. I forget to say thank you. I’ve been taken advantage of. I like shopping, but never find anything worth buying. I eat junk food. I forget to call my parents. I listen to the same music over and over. I confuse my friends. I write poetry. My mom says I’m weird. I’m a therapist to my friends. I forget to wear my retainer. I’m the first Granddaughter.  I like candles. My style is predictable. An old guy once told me I have a beautiful smile. I question the world. I do my HW at the last minute. I listen to musicals. I see beauty in random objects. I never turn my phone off. I like to take pictures. I don’t mind doing dishes. I spend money I don’t have at the .99-cent store. I spend way too much time online. I have become good friends with a person I met on myspace. I have a temper. I’m not good in Math.  I believe things happen for a reason. I go to Shabbat on Friday nights even though I don’t speak Hebrew. I believe in luck. I lost my phone one time. I have grown as an individual since attending csun. I don’t do drugs. I’ve tried countless times to be a perfectionist. I have Disney posters on my walls. I’ve been told I’m a really good friend. I can’t live without music. I lose things. I wish I could draw. I cry in the shower. People think I have a perfect life. I have never broken a bone. I have glasses for reading. I believe in God. I couldn’t spell when I was little. I sing in the shower. I miss my childhood days. I volunteer. I like to read. I consider myself intelligent. I dress to impress when I’m with my grandmother.  I like to Cook. I believe smart water really makes you smart.  Looks are somewhat important to me, because I’m a college girl. I wanted to be an actress when I was younger. I get distracted easily. I was proposed to twice when I was in pre-school. I changed my ways, for a guy.I actually like school. I could listen to oldies music for hours. I think children are teachers of imagination and creativity. I get annoyed easily. I’m an optimist. I crack my fingers. I forget to make my bed. I watch cartoons. I’m sensitive. I like romantic comedies. I am envious of others. I’m not perfect. My backpack weighs more than it has to. I twitter. I’m realizing that everything will be okay, including me. I love Laughing for absolutely no reason at all. The librarians by my house know me. I’m shy when first meeting people. I'm not perfect, not even close. I'm just me.

(Freshman year of college-before donation of hair-07)

Summer before Junior year of college(09)















"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genious, and Id rather be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring".
- Marylin Monroe